Sunday, March 6, 2011

Am I Doing Good?

"Yes, you are doing good Ciara," was my response for what seemed like the 100th time in a 10 minute car ride to school.

She's funny that way. When she's behaving, she is aware of it, and wants to be sure that I'm also aware. I guess because when she's not behaving I make certain she knows that I know and I'm not pleased.

I guess as parents, many of us are guilty of pointing out the times of misbehaviors, disobedience, and shortcomings a lot more than we do the moments of serenity.

Like when in the car, the kids begin to fuss and I quickly lose my patience and "let them have it".
By contrast, when all is going well, and the car ride seems serene. Not a word is heard from mom. That should be a good thing, right?

I guess not always. That's why CC will often ask, "Am I doing good?"
If I quickly notice the bad, why can't I quickly notice the good?

Okay.... so I don't have a good response!
I am a mother, not a genius nor perfect...

Actually, I'm far from being the ideal mother. But I do try.
I think we all do.
We measure our words and actions and refer back to the mental notes we've collected originating from our own upbringing.

"The mistakes mom made, I won't make".
"I won't ever do that."
"My kids will have better than that."

And we try... I mean we really make our best efforts to be good parents.
Don't we?
It is an enormously huge thing to be this person that will someday have to admit responsibility for her child's successes and failures.
Actually, I think that's why we "stop them in their tracks" when they are on their way to misconduct... because we know that ultimately their conduct reflects who we are.

A mother... so much is said of mothers
So much is praised about mothers..
But the truth is that we ourselves are asking the question: "Am I doing good?"

The Mother's Day flowers give us some recompense. The birthday cards remind us we are cared for. But nothing tells us "we're doing good" as profoundly as when we see our children doing good.

Makes me wonder how Mary felt when she saw her son carrying a cross leading up to his death... and she witnessed his death on that very cross.

His death for me...
Not because of anything good that I have ever done.
But because of all the wrong that I've done.
That's why He did the ultimate...
Because there is nothing good about me--- on my own.

And so as I try to do my best in parenting, and as my daughter wonders how well she's doing... I am reminded that we all fall short; and He in turn, shows us mercy and compassion, regardless of of how "we're doing".

Psalm 51:1, "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions."


  1. there is no such thing as a perfect mother or father or person...thank God for Jesus through him in God's eyes we are perfect...