She was so very excited when I told her I'd join her, I could still see the smile on her face beaming.
The face of love looking right at me.
And what an awesome feeling that is!
I bought myself flowers the other day. Beautiful yellow flowers. Just wanted to do something nice for myself. They're sitting on the kitchen table, as a constant reminder of it.
Sometimes it's nice to "be nice" to yourself. And I shouldn't feel weird about it. Right?
Well, you see when you've had a "legalistic" type of upbringing, you don't always feel comfortable treating yourself to something special. Like I feel badly if I'm home and find myself not "doing" much around the house...feeling lazy. And if I treat myself to something like brand new shoes, I almost always feel a little guilty, though I'm not sure why.
The mentality is: I should be "doing something" all the time.
So much so that I should not have any time to relax. And when I'm doing something, I should be doing it just right. Furthermore, I am longing for validation from those around me. Someone's always watching, right?
Sounds crazy? Perhaps not.
If it sounds more familiar than crazy, then you may know where I'm going with this.
Translation for the "spiritual": God's people should be working hard and if they are too happy, something is wrong. And the validation for how well you are doing comes from those who are watching you. And you always have to look "good" for those watching.
Wow.... to think that was my interpretation of God!
And yet still in my ignorance, God says, "Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you..." Isaiah 43:4
And He goes on to name His promises for His chosen people.
I am precious to Him. He is honored by me. And He loves me. He just does.
He sends me flowers everyday. He sings me love songs, and He sends me love letters.
And it isn't because of anything that I've done, anything that I am doing, and/or anything that I will ever do. God is just crazy about me!
I admit sometimes I struggle to perceive it. Sometimes I wish it was because I'm doing something right.
That sounds naive, I know.
And it is... and yet He still loves me!
Sometimes during our one on one times, the face of love looking right at me, the smile on my face beaming; I feel like the luckiest girl around!
I am precious in His sight.