Sometimes it seems I've lost my way to what I know is right for me.
And I'm consumed by what I feel versus what I know is true. I get so overwhelmed that I find myself depleted in such a way that I can't see past what's right in front of me. I lose my faith. And I lose sight of the bigger picture. It's like I can't keep my head above water, much less be daring enough to walk on it. Ever feel that way?
I will never forget one of the greatest lessons I learned a while back, and I learned it at none other than Lamaze class. This was 20 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. The instructor was providing tips on how to bear the pain of labor. I was determined I would go all the way without meds. No epidural for me! The point being taught was to find a focal point in the room and fix your eyes on that, as you endure the pain. It was supposed to take your mind off of the pain and centralize your thoughts on something else. Well, I tried it, and it worked! With some heavy breathing as well, of course...
I still use that technique. Whenever I need to truly concentrate on something or bear with pain, I look for a focal point.
Well, the other day I was reminded of it, as I listened to the pastor's sermon. He used different terminology, but it came down to the same thing. Finding my focal point. "Keeping my eyes on the ball", for those sports agents out there. "Fixing our eyes on Him", for those Bible scholars. Proverbs 4:25, "Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you." And who would it be that is right in front of us, but the one leading us? Kind of reminds me of the story of Peter and Jesus walking on water. As long as Jesus was his focal point, Peter was fearless.
As I pondered on this message for my life, I felt the spirit calling out to me from what felt like deep within. I could almost hear my name being called... "Lucy, come back to your focal point. Fix your eyes on Him. And walk. Placing one foot in front of the other, without losing sight of Him." It was like life was being breathed into me again. The spirit within wanting to take me a step further in my walk with Him. But not leaving me alone to figure it out or to walk as I wish. Instead, reminding me of the source that would keep me well. That which would keep me above water. My focal point. The one who holds the bigger picture in His hands and can see what my entire walk and destination looks like. Hence, that's why He is the one leading.
You ever lose your way? Ever lose sight of the one leading? And with every trying step, you're finding it harder to stay above water? Look up, find your focal point, and fix your eyes on Him. When you do, begin to walk. Placing one step in front of the other, with your sight still set on Him. You will find yourself walking on water.
By the way, I didn't get the epidural, although I begged for it at the end. :)