It's interesting how we grow so accustomed to having certain people in our lives, that when they aren't around we somehow do not feel complete.
And as I reflect on it, I realize that some of it has to do with simply being dependent on someone. Looking forward to talking before going to bed. Wanting to hear the stories of the day. Wanting a reason to laugh out loud. Feeling safe because I'm not alone. Sharing my concerns and fears. Arguing my most valid points. Witnessing the accomplishments as well as the downfalls. Sharing someone else's life. It's like this feeling and verification that I'm alive. I have a purpose, and I feel whole.
And now for two weeks I'm stripped of it, and a part of me is lost. Yet, a bigger and deeper part of me knows that I must find that solitude and purpose in God alone. Moreover, God wants me to be at peace and content with or without those whom I most treasure. It's okay to depend on my husband for certain things and to cherish him, but I need to realize that ultimately, it all comes from God. The fact that my husband's friendship motivates me and his company assures me has to do with how God provides for me. You see God will use people to meet our needs. Therefore, regardless of how much I appreciate my husband for all that he brings to my life, I must acknowledge that God is the one ultimately fulfilling my every need and that He is faithful, always.
So he reminded me of it this morning, as I read to my younger ones at the breakfast table.
We took turns reading Deuteronomy 8, and once again feeling humbled by God's word, I realized that God wants us to depend on Him and that He is forever faithful.
And also as I read, I thought about how Moses seemed so confident in what he was sharing with God's people at the time. He seemed very sure of what he was saying. And why wouldn't he be? God had proven himself faithful time and time again, and Moses had witnessed it all. So at the time, it was a very different Moses compared to when God first called him to go and free His people. At first, he felt very inadepquate for the job, and he was. And so his trust and confidence was placed moreover on himself rather than on God. But when we read in Deuteronomy 8, we find a different Moses. This was one whose faith had been tested and who had learned from experience that God would provide faithfully.
That is how I want to respond tonight. Although I feel alone, I know that God is with me. Although I miss my husband, I know that God has never forsaken me. Although I need the company, I can find my needs are always met through His word.
Thank you Lord!
Deuteronomy 8---2 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. 3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years.