Today, I'm wishing she had actually given us a "way out". You see being a mom has got to be the second toughest job ever. Being a committed wife falls into "the first toughest" category.
So I'm repainting and redecorating my son's room. This is exciting for me. Well, at least it was until he walked in and began to turn down all of my ideas. He didn't like how I had rearranged the furniture, and he began to lash out. He disagreed with everything I said, and accused me of not listening to him.
In the meantime, I was determined to stay focused and finish the venture I had taken on. So while I hammered the picture frames to the wall, he threw his clothes on the floor and ripped up the "love note" I had given him a while back. Finally, I had had enough. So I told him that he would be grounded for a week. With that I walked out and went on to making lunch for everyone and playing Lego's with my daughter.
Not long after that, I noticed my son was making some kind of escape plan, as I saw him leave the house through the garage door and hide in the back of my husband's truck.
"I wish I had an escape plan", I thought to myself, feeling unappreciated.
"What would God do?", I asked myself, while feeling mixed emotions inside.
He would give even when it hurts, and He would take the very little we offer Him.
He would sacrifice Himself for the benefit and best interest of others.
...Man, that sounds so difficult! .... why did I bother to analyze?
I remembered the family devotion I had lead that same morning.
The theme being: God has a perfect plan for us, and we just need to be faithful wherever God has placed us.
What does that have to do with me being frustrated with my son today?
How am I to be faithful right now? Should I consider this event with my son, one of insignificance. Where my reaction towards his behavior is not important? Or do I consider that even this, God has allowed as an opportunity for me to be faithful to Him?
And so the internal dialogue takes wings, "I want to be faithful God".
"You must persevere", I hear Him say.
"Love", "Give", "Surrender your will."
"Wow, am I really capable of all that?", I wonder. "Am I really cut out for this most self-less job?"
"You're not, but I am... Allow me to give my love through you. Allow me to forgive through you. Allow me to draw your son closer to me, through you. That is how you can be faithful to me."
(Galatians 2:20, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.")
Solemnly, I realize, there is no place for me to run and resign. But there is Christ living in me, who can do all that I am not capable of.
Finally, my son did not get very far on his escape, and I am still reflecting on what I could have done differently. Ever had one of those days?