Monday, November 4, 2013

A Voice Through the Silence

A Voice through the Silence

The room is empty
My friends are gone
They've all given up on me

Nothing moves
Except for what I think is a fly buzzing around
It seems to be reminding me that death is never far away

But there's nothing else sounding
It's quiet enough to only hear my heartbeat
And even that is a little faint

It is silent
I stopped talking
And nobody hears me

Deep inside I can scarcely hear my mother's lullabies
And my childhood cheers
But they're all gone now

It's just me in a quiet room
No sign of real life
Well, I guess that would be me

But I can't speak
I've grown too weak
And I don't feel the need

I ran out of dreams
I no longer wish
I'm at a loss of hope

Life swayed me back and forth
To the point that I no longer move
I'm just laying on this cold floor

As I stare up at the ceiling
Morning creeping in through the skylight window
“leave me alone!” I yell inside
“I don't want to wake today.”

But the sun is too bright
It keeps pressing through
I must close my eyes

I find myself squinting
The glare is in my eyes
What a bothersome thing, when the rays are on your face

I'm not sure how, but I had to move
I got on all fours and made my body upright
I'm on my feet... it's been a while

And as I make my way to the bathroom,
It seems the sun is following
I can still feel the heat, and my body feels warm

I look up at the mirror above the sink
It's been a long time and I'm afraid
I don't think I know that image looking back at me

Tears begin to flow
I didn't think I had any left
But there's one more

As if to say, “I've got something left to say”
And I get choked up
I begin to cough

The coughing leads to crying
And for the first time in a long time,
I hear my voice again

My voice...
It used to be so strong
It used to be inviting

My voice...
I used to sing
A long while ago, before I became depressed

I used to laugh
I used to talk
I used to

And now for the first time in so long, I heard my voice again
I don't really know why I did it, but something in me was crying out
And as I stood there on my feet again on the bare floor and before my own image

I felt the cold on my feet, and it felt good
I tried a smile, and could almost see myself again
And then I did it... I said a prayer, I know God was listening too
I know because soon after, I had the courage to face the world again

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