How'd I get here? Ever been there? In that place that you're not sure how you got to, so you're a bit unclear about where you're really at?
I don't mean when you're on the road trip that suddenly becomes a scary adventure becomes you can't find your way back to the highway, after stopping for gas and a bathroom break. You know the one? When you try to stay calm even while you're going around in circles with no clue about where you need to be and how to get there. Or when you just keep going straight on the road because there are no intersections or streets to turn into, and suddenly you read the sign that says you're 80 miles from Canada.... Canada! I thought we were heading south!
I've got a funny story. The day after we were married, my husband and I were on our way out of Philadelphia and heading to Massachusetts. Or so we thought. He was nineteen; I was twenty, and it was our first time out of Philadelphia on a road trip by ourselves. But we had a destination to get to if he was ever to finish up his military training in Devens, Ma. So we had someone draw up a map for us; this being our first time driving out of the city on our own. And we did our best to read the drawn out map, but that lasted about 15 minutes. We were barely outside the city lines, when we were lost. We were on the interstate, which was good, and heading north; yet we had no idea what else to do to get to our destination. But we kept moving. And then I saw a car with Massachusetts license plates....
We followed that car all the way up to Massachusetts that day. My job as the co-pilot was to keep my eyes fixed on that vehicle, while my husband just kept his foot on the pedal and followed the driver. At one point, the driver pulled over for gas, and we did the same. He seemed very suspicious of us, though we explained our predicament. And who could blame him! Still with great uncertainty, he agreed to let us follow him all the way. He tried losing us a few times, but we were on his tail the entire ride. Needless to say, that was an experience I will never forget.
We finally did make it to our destination that night. But if you asked me how or where I was, I couldn't tell you. In fact, we lived in this little town in Massachusetts called Ayer for a little over a month, and I still have no idea where I was all that time. You can rightfully say we were naive, and I'd admit we were very naive.
That may be how we all end up in that place that we are not sure about how we ended up at. Maybe we were too naive. Or perhaps we knew exactly what we were doing, but we did it anyway. When it comes to sin, my experience has been that many times it will present itself in subtle ways or in small increments before you can actually see it in its full blown nature. So the racy conversation you had with that friend of the opposite sex, seems funny at first. And the lunch date was just a coincidence. The Facebook private message was just a friendly hello. The texting? Well, that was just because the conversation became very interesting and so it seemed harmless.
But now you're wondering, "How'd I get here?" How is it that I am now having feelings for my boss? My co-worker, my secretary, my good friend? And how is that? That we can go from doing the right thing to finding ourselves immersed in sin? Or at least at warfare with falling into sin... I cannot answer the question for you. It is for you to answer. You see, what may lead me astray might look completely different for you. And what leads you astray may look unappealing to me. But nevertheless, we are all prone to stray. Even if only in our minds.
And so are we to throw in the towel and give in? Do we, knowing how naive we really are, simply give in to temptations and sin? Of course not. There is a God, the one true God, that sees us as we stray, as we are lead into the subtlety of sin and later find ourselves completely lost. He sees us where we are, and knows exactly how we got there. Better yet, He knows the way back. And He provides a way for us to turn from sin. He clears paths for us... and will hold our hand to walk with us. If only, we call out His name.
May this be our daily prayer. Psalms 119:133, "Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me."